I've discovered over the past few days that I'm a self-obsessed human being.
Dang it.
For instance; this afternoon, my sister called me and we started off the conversation by talking about how soon I'm leaving for Boston (pretty darn soon). So, as I'm wont to do in these types of conversations, I was all ready for the talk to be all about me. I was geared for explaining my nervousness; I was prepped to talk about my future; I was prepared to discuss my plans.
I was so much so, in fact, that when my sister asked about times that I'd be available over the next couple of weeks, I naturally thought she wanted to get together with me and the other girls in our family and plan an outing before we all head to the four corners of the earth. And so, many sentences (and much confusion) later, I realized that, duh, she's trying to ask me to babysit so that she and her husband can have a nice evening together because they won't be able to do so on said sister's birthday next week.
Oi.
Guilt and embarrassment all rolled up in one.
And I keep doing things like this. When members of my ward ask how I'm doing, I'm liable to launch into a 30-minute speech about why Boston is the best of all places and how I feel about moving there and how much it will cost exactly to rent a truck and drive for four days to reach it. (Luckily, the dull glazed eyes of my audience usually pull me back before I get too far into it.)
I feel bad. You see, I'm so concerned with and just plain interested in things going on in my own life right now that I assume other people are automatically just as concerned and/or interested as I am.
But they're not.
They're interested (and absolutely rightly so) in their own lives. Because, honestly, first and foremost that's the most important (and urgent) thing you have to deal with. Once you've got your own life in tolerable order (not perfect, but tolerable) you can then begin to focus on other people.
I guess then that I'm hoping my own life will calm down in the next little bit (as it is liable to do) so that I can become, eventually, a less selfish person than I am right now.
9 comments:
Congratulations - you're normal!
Yeah, I believe we all go through periods of our lives that are especially exciting and eventful and so we want to talk about it. But don't worry, before long I'm sure your life will be just as boring as the rest of ours. :)
Except for my husband. He's ALWAYS got some exciting thing to tell you about. And you still love him, right? Right?
Jo, I so love your husband, even when he's waxing enthusiastic about hand-held video game players and digs in Israel. (Actually, the dig in Israel thing is pretty dang cool.)
And Pat, thanks. It's good to be reminded that I'm not the only one who inflicts herself on people like this. :)
(Er, it's an archaeological dig. Not sure that was clear...)
True, by default we're all interested in our own lives, but conversations become vastly more interesting when we take an interest in the other person's life, too.
Of course, if people are just making polite small talk, you're probably right--they probably aren't interested in hearing about ANYTHING in detail, whether it be the cost of U-Hauls, Israeli archeology, or my ongoing struggle to effectively grow bell peppers. Their loss. :)
Oooh! Bell peppers! Do tell.
(See? I'm getting better already.) ;)
Well, since you asked . . .
One of my plants is doing its best to produce a pepper, but both plants were thronged by aphids yesterday so I pulled out my trusty insecticidal soap (even organic gardeners recommend using it, so it can't be as scary as it sounds--at least to humans, anyway).
The directions say "Spray to the point of run-off, directly onto insects if possible," so I literally deluged the plants and all the offending green meanies. I must confess that all that spraying was rather satisfying.
Yay, Kim! Get them darn bugs!
And good luck with those peppers! We tried to grow a pepper plant in our backyard here in Utah one year. As I recall, it produced one very anemic-looking pepper. I hope yours do better!
Oh, Eli! I was the one who felt embarrassed. Here you were trying to get together and spend time with your (favorite--sorry Jo) sister, and I was telling you instead that, no, I didn't want to spend time with you, but have you drive all this way and be my slave so I could leave my children and go on the town with my husband! (Wow, that was about the runniest-on sentence I've written!)
I was really embarrassed when I hung up the phone. I felt like I just made you feel bad b/c I wanted to spend time with Vince instead of you, who will be leaving so soon. :0( So, how's Saturday for ya? Wanna go out? (Me AND you this time!)
Post a Comment