So...this confession may make me seem a little bit more like a scary-stalker-like person than I actually am, but...
I really like eavesdropping.
I've realized this before (and usually blushed after said realization, most becomingly) but I was reminded of this little taste of mine today while riding the shuttle bus up to work.
During the ride, I noticed two twenty-something women talking to each other on the bench opposite the aisle to where I sat, purse in lap, hands clasped securely over said purse, eyes staring politely (i.e. vacantly) ahead, ears (obviously) wandering freely. As we passed one of the many schools in the area, one of the women commented to the other that she was thinking about a grad program there, but it was kind of expensive. They talked about other programs and I discovered that they were interested in pursuing vocations as early childhood educators, that they were both either married or in semi-permanent relationships with men, that they were both pretty well informed about the costs of private schools and that one at least was pro-private school and decidedly against living in the city.
(I know I gleaned other bits of information from the conversation, but that's all I can remember at the moment.)
I realized a couple of things from this encounter: firstly, that it's easy to pass along information to those around you even when you're not engaged in direct conversation with them. And that it's definitely best to be cautious. (You never know when a stalker-like blogger like me is sitting supposedly innocuously in a seat next to yours, mentally taking note of your semi-private conversation.)
Secondly, that it is (as I mentioned before) fun to eavesdrop. And a little wistful. I will (most likely) never see these two young women again. And yet, during a span of about 25 minutes I was able to learn things about them enough to tell that I'd probably enjoy getting to know them, that I'd probably have things in common with them, that we could (in short) become friends if the circumstances were right.
And that's probably the oddest thing of all. Most of the encounters we have with people during the course of a day are brief one-time deals: you see someone, you may say a word or two (or not) and then the moment is over. For good. And yet the possibility always exists that with each person you encounter you could build a potentially lifelong relationship. That man in a business suit jogging past you could have been your best friend; the elderly woman with a poodle might have given you art lessons; the smoking man in a ballcap sitting on the curb could have been the first man ever to tell you you're beautiful. And yet they're not.
I feel amazed at all the relationships we do develop with people, and sometimes at how chancy and random the circumstances that create those relationships seem to be. And yet, for my part, the people I've had in my life seem to have been just the people I needed at just the time I needed them. And that, more than anything, seems to indicate to me that the people we know when we know them are not accidental. Not in the least.
And that when eavesdropping on conversations really does (as unlikely as it may seem) lead to friendship, there's a reason for that too.
3 comments:
Eavesdropping is hard for me to resist, too. I think that's one thing I like about blogs: I'm free to read what people have to say, whether they know me or not. In fact, the practice is encouraged.
What's more, you often get to know people quickly and intimately. In face to face conversation, you can't just walk up to a stranger and ask about their hopes and dreams. We don't generally feel comfortable revealing that kind of stuff to people we've never met. You have to wade through several layers of smalltalk about hometowns, college majors, hobbies, etc., before you find out what really makes them tick.
In the blogosphere, though, the first day you encounter a blog you can read for fifteen minutes and get a pretty clear idea about what the other is like, what interests them, what they value. And if you like them, you're free to visit as often as you like and participate in their conversations. I love that freedom.
I like eavesdropping! *drops eaves on the Elvish Pirate Gyspy's head and scrams*
My dear, As you know, in the past six months I have developed, and indulged in, an extremely unhealthy obsession with Loralai and Rory Gilmore, and with the amazing (fictional) town of Stars Hallow Connecticut. I think that a lot of appeal of the show for me is that every time these two characters exit their charming little cottage, they encounter someone who is quirky and endearing and very, very familiar. When they are eating at Luke's Diner they eavesdrop, but it is always Kirk or Miss Patti or Babette who is talking, people who are part of the fabric of their lives, and inevitably, Loralai feels free to chime right in. I guess that Rory does ride the bus or the train, and she meets many strangers and new friends at Chilton and at Yale, but the really important moments in her life take place at Kim's Antiques, or at the Star's Hallow town meeting. I love the appeal of Star's Hallow. And I reluctantly acknowledge that it is, indeed, a very fictional place, filled with (thankfully) fictional people. Can you imagine Taylor as your next door neighbor?
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