Approximations

I decided today that it's about time for a new profile picture, so I came up with the above highly accurate drawing of myself. For those of you who have never seen me, let me tell you, it is indeed higly accurate. Very. Especially the fact that I have glasses. And also those lips are exactly like mine. Ahem.

Not really.

For instance, I'm not very good about tilting my head like that. Even when a photographer cajoles me to do so, I'm reluctant or simply unable. No head-tilting for me. Also, the highlights/shadowing are all weird and off. My hair looks funky and my eyes are decidedly too peaceful looking. And that mouth? Mine is never that serene.

But it's an approximation.

Several weeks ago, I was in a museum with a dear friend who, as we studied great works of art, had numerous insights into the paintings and sculptures we saw. I could only make an occasional (vaguely) humorous quip, hoping to cover my ignorance with witty remarks that really weren't all that witty.

I felt myself lacking, in short. I felt that this friend possessed an intelligence I did not have and I felt humbled by it.

It was only today though that I was able to put my finger on what was missing.

You see, I draw, but I'm not an artist. I don't have an artist's insight into paintings; I don't have a feel for composition and symbolism and sheer artistic power. I can (sometimes) recreate (inaccurately) things I see, but I'm not capable (at least as I am now) of creating a Work of Art.

I realized there are other things in my life that are the same: I sing, but I'm not a musician; I write, but I'm not an author.

I could see suddenly that most of the things in my life that I'm proud of are mere approximations of what they could be, of what I want them to be, or even what I thought they were.

And yet, while feeling suddenly inadequate (this friend, for instance, is pretty much all of the things I wish I were) I've come to realize (just since beginning to write this post) that approximations are what we really are in this life. We are approximations of the beings we will one day be, all approximations of our Father. We live in a state of potentiality, ever striving to become, but never quite moving past our mortal limitiations.

But that's the way we're designed; we aren't meant to reach our full potential here. And maybe, as I move past my mortal boundaries, I'll meld my approximations with reality and finally become what it is I want to be.