I've been thinking a lot.
Seriously.
About a whole lot of things.
Things like what it means to be open-minded and whether that's a good thing and trying to discover what other people around me value and what they see as right and wrong and whether their rights and wrongs are things that I should incorporate into my own moral code and I've been shifting and stretching and wondering and trying to find out what's really, really real and True.
TRUTH.
That kind of thing.
And I've been wanting to take all of these things that I've been learning and add them to all of the things that I've always believed and thought so that I have some kind of master list of Truth, something that somehow incorporates both the restored gospel and temple ordinances and also things like seeing each person I encounter as a whole individual and not see them as 'other' if they happen to believe different things than I believe, or do things that I would consider wrong. I guess, I don't even want to see people as 'wrongdoers' or 'non-Mormons.' I don't want to walk around seeing the rest of the world's population as befuddled and ignorant and sinful. I just want to see people, you know? People like me. People who are trying to do things as well as they can and get through this life with as few mistakes as possible and who are working out their own rights and wrongs and making choices and really trying to be good people.
And I also want to see things in a clearly moral sense, to see that things like abortion and sexual immorality are absolutely not good. And yet still be able to look at a person who has had an abortion or who is living with a boyfriend and not just see them as 'the person who has had an abortion and is living with a boyfriend.'
And I'm having a hard time, you know? I'm having a hard time making it all balance and all fit and all come out so that I can see things really clearly.
I guess maybe I just want the best of both worlds: both the comfort (and, dare I say it, the half-suppressed sense of moral superiority) of having a clearly black & white morality, and also the comradeship and acceptance of a shades-of-grey morality.
How do you try to reconcile these things? I'm really curious, because I'm really trying to work this out right now.
4 comments:
I've had similar things on my mind lately. I started to respond to your thoughts, then realized I was writing an enormous post rather than a comment, so I posted it on my blog rather than take up pages of your comment section.
Thanks for getting me thinking. I've been trying to formulate these ideas for a while.
Something that has helped me with this is to remember to see each person as for who they really are: a child of God. It's not my job to judge; it's Someone Else's. So I try my best to give people the benefit of the doubt. Because who really knows why they had the abortion or are living with their boyfriend? Their reasons for all I know could actually be totally legitimate, despite my own moral standards. Instead of comparing your standards to theirs -- instead of, essentially, asking how to judge -- ask how you can love them. Focus on the truth and good of all people and see where it takes you.
You are a good person. I can't imagine you doing anything different than what I just talked about. Just continue to go about your way being fascinated with the world and the people who populate it and I think you will be just fine. Anyway, those are my two cents.
(We really need to meet up one of these days. Sometimes I just want to give you a hug and tell you everything will be okay.)
What helps me look past what other people do is to sit back and remember, "oh, yeah. I'm a sinner, too." I mean, I not only can imagine doing bad things but have done them, so I know how easy and comfortable and simple it is to be in their shoes. Plus, if their standards are different, why should I hold them to my own?
Have you read Believing Christ by Stephen Robinson? Ummm... it's just a really good book, and I don't want to try to summarize it. So read it, if you haven't yet.
(I'll lend you my copy at Christmas. :))
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