At life, at human relationships, at whathaveyou.
Yep. Yep, I do.
And I'm all frustrated with myself because I Fail.
So, okay. Let me list some of my more recent foibles for you.
Yeah. So, opinions? I should just not have them. And, I think perhaps, one reason why I am so wishy washy with said opinions is that when I finally do have an opinion on something, a good and solid and glorious opinion, which I am so happy to have because normally I am an opinionless blob of nothingness and slobber, I get so excited about this opinion that I go blazing off about it and just kind of blare said opinion to anyone willing to stand still and not hit me over the head with a stick to put me out of my misery long enough to let me get it out.
However. Problematically. Other people have different opinions. In fact, they may have opinions that they cherish muchly and deeply and fully and when I go blaring out my own spectacularly loud opinions I think I sometimes and maybe frequently cause pain.
And that is probably the thing I hate doing most of all.
I think sometimes that if I could agree with everyone I would because then everyone would be happy and no one would be uncomfortable or hurt and there would be flowers and sunshine and chocolate pudding for all.
So, for example, if I read a book recently that I happened to find...not quite my cup of tea...but it came highly recommended from someone and I happened to tell someone else loudly that I had a low opinion of the book, completely forgetting or not even thinking about the presence of the recommender-person nearby, I would feel pretty darn crappy.
Sort of, in fact, like I Fail. Miserably and fully and.
Just.
I hate hurting people.
Stupid. Bad.
BADbadbad. Dumb.
Also, I stink at writing papers.
The End.
6 comments:
Who doesn't?
You don't fail! You're NORMAL. You're HUMAN. You're OKAY. Really. Because, honestly, who wants to be the same? I, like you, generally have no opinion about stuff. But once every blue moon I do. Going along with your book analogy...on the recommendation of thousands of people, I picked up a copy of Twilight. Everyone told me it would be fabulous, that I would love it. With each page turn, I kept waiting for it be fabulous. It never happened. And now everyone asks me if I've read the series and if I love it and I quite frankly have to tell them that no, I did not love it, and there's no way I'm going to read the rest of the series. Sure, my opinion does not fit with the mold of opinions about this series, but so long as I tactfully tell them of my opinion, people are usually fine with it. So yes, you're normal to have differing views once in a while.
Beth dear, I know how dark and heavy it is when you start to believe that you are and always will be a hopeless failure. You MUST fight harder to overcome that lie.
The worst form of child abuse is often the abuse we heap upon own own tender hearts and souls. I know that you would never say to one of your sweet nieces or nephews the kind of ugly things that you tell yourself. Be kind to yourself. Cruelty to others is wrong, but so is cruelty to self. You are my precious child. You are God's precious child. It is only your enemy who seeks to have you believe that you are a failure. Trust me when I tell you that no one who knows and loves you believes that your are.
I like chocolate pudding. I'd give you some if I had any. ^-^
I hope it would rocket your self-esteem if I told you I like reading your thoughts as much as I love eating chocolate pudding.
I think for the most part that our biggest problem is that we think too much of our own problems. We compare ourselves to this "perfect" person that doesn't truly exist. Perfection is a process, not a destination. All we need to do is shift the focus from ourselves to the people we happen to see walking down the street. If you don't think of all these "oh so terrible and shameful" flaws, then you'll naturally be more confident--and less likely to fail.
I found a quote that might help clarify what I meant.
"Many of us will not survive our tests in mortality without help from others. And just as true: in helping others we keep our own spirits alive."--Kathleen hughes
*pats your head*
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