Toppled

Okay.

You know those days when you're going along, feeling pretty good about yourself, saying, "Yeah. I'm pretty much okay. I don't try to steal money from little old ladies and hello! I am SO rocking this whole customer service thing!"

And then something comes along and clubs you upside the head and you realize that you really, really, really stink.

REALLY BAD.

And as much as you try, there's no way you can blame it on someone else, because it really is seriously your fault. You dropped the ball and you were stupid and you just kind of want to curl yourself into your stomach and swallow yourself whole (which really is a pretty nonsensical thing to try anatomically).

Ugh. I HATE days like that.

Yesterday was one of those days.

And I'm slowly approaching normal again, but I just keep remembering that...really angry email...and I just kind of get this ringing in my ears and I zone out for a few minutes remembering how much I really, really am no good. No, no. No good at all.

Of course, the temple helped yesterday evening (which is where I had planned to go anyway before something blew up on me; lucky coincidence). My sense of self-worth is definitely several points higher than it would otherwise have been. And, I'm sure that by Monday most of this will be safely padded on the inside of my head so it's not sharp and painful anymore.

But darn it, WHY CAN'T I JUST DO THINGS RIGHT? And then I wouldn't have those days. Those awful, awful, really bad days.