Wednesday, February 28, 2007

What's so funny about spam?

At work I check email a lot. And a lot of times the email I check is spam. Really, really spammy spam that tells me I have mortgages already approved just waiting for me in a dark alley, and the best ways to obtain male enhancement pills, and fabulous stock market gains in toenail clippings and petri dishes.

But my favorite spams are the ones where bits of text are pasted together into one long email, usually with a couple of attachments that I never, ever, ever open. Ever. (Seriously. I'm not stupid, people.)

I usually just trash them, but this one I just had to share:

"I silver ramal say he is about burned a myth," replied Albert, "and neverh "I say, that when a crush metal dived thing fish completely surpassesmy crossly The supper choke unfasten consisted of a touch roast pheasantgarnished"Yes, your excellency."

"Bless extend paint below me!" exclaimed square Caderousse, "fiftythousand To be ridden kept in ugly strict built solitary suddenlyconfinement, and to coach pray Beneath these lines different smash waswritten in another hand: "

"No," music replied cautious the abb, cuddly "it was roll not of such a size"And argument stage what may a house myth force be?" inquiredPastrini. outstanding "Well, then, trick yesterday right let us sup."Franzrubbed his open rapidly eyes in thought name order to assure himself tcutwound "But near the swim carriage and horses?" said Franz.

Of course there's more, but really: "'But near the swim carriage and horses?' said Franz???" Not to mention "'Bless extend paint below me!' exlaimed square Caderousse..."

Haha! Oh, haha! Yeah. Those spammers really kill me.

7 comments:

Kimberly Bluestocking said...

I yearn to know what goes through a person's mind when they compose something like that. Are they just jumbling some existing text, or giving life to the words of some funky spammer muse?

Lizardbreath McGee said...

My personal opinion is that it's a spammer muse. Who is definitely high on something...or, like, has brain connections that have never been seen by the world of science.

Yes. That it is.

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure its some kid in China (probably one of my students) that got a job translating advertisements into English. But since his boss can't read English he just wrote down all the words he knew (and some that don't exist) and pasted some other phrases together. And presto chango...you have this spam crap. Everyday Happy!

Lizardbreath McGee said...

Pam, your students from China make me feel jolly.

Lizardbreath McGee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joanna said...

My spam has quotes from Harry Potter books, so every time I read I try to figure out which book it's from and what it's talking about. It's like name that tune in 10 notes or less--name that Harry Potter book in 4 sentences or less.

Lizardbreath McGee said...

That sounds like much more fun than my excerpts. I'm not even sure what books they're from, although as an English major, I should probably start trying to guess...

Hm....

Nope. No clue. ;^)