The only problem is, I'm not sure what to write about.
You see, I've been spending the last couple of hours trying to work out exactly what admissions people at the graduate school of my choice want to see in that little essay you're supposed to write that describes exactly why you're the perfect candidate for their school and also makes them want to throw money in your general direction and also I should avoid run-on sentences.
So, as I'm sure you can guess, my brain (if removed from my skull and examined under a bright fluorescent light) currently resembles a kind of sticky paste made from approximately two cups of raisins that have gone through the blender at high speed, to which has been added three heaping tablespoons of honey. And also a quarter cup of milk. (Well, maybe not the milk.)
Man. It's a good thing my brain is fastened securely to the inside of my skull, otherwise the ants would be all over me! (ACK! ANTS!)
Where was I?
Oh, yes. A topic. Which I do not have.
Ummmm....Well, as it turns out, my day off has been cut short, (they're apparently very busy at my place of employment today), so I don't really have much more time to write stuff, seeing as how I've got to leave in, like 30 minutes. It's really pretty disappointing. I was going to write my essay & polish it & then proceed to bug the appropriate people to please, PLEASE write me letters of recommendation, but alas, I've only had time for a rough essay outline, which goes as follows:
Point one: Talk about how you were born with a book in your hand. It's not really true, but it'll get everybody at the admissions committee to have a good laugh, and hey--you can always use that.
Point two: Talk about recommending "Everybody Poops" to all of the children who came into the library. Seriously. Like, how you would run after them waving it frantically, screaming "You've GOT to read this book! It will CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!!" Yeah. That'll impress 'em.
Point three: Talk about how the school is PERFECT for you. It's far away from home, so your parents won't be able to keep bugging you about taking that pesky medication.
Point four: Talk about how you're PERFECT for the program. After all, you own a couple of books yourself, and you've even read some of 'em, so you should get along pretty darn well with all them booky people they have at that thar school of theirn. (And also write it in a weird western accent. That's SURE to get their attention.)
And that's about as far as I've gotten. The fine details of the essay may require some tweaking, but I think I've essentially got it. Yep. So, grad school--HERE I COME!
5 comments:
Be apprised that the western accent will only benefit you with schools west of the Mississippi, who will be impressed that you speak the local dialect. Eastern schools will just assume your spellcheck is severely malfunctioning, or that your document was sent in some weird format with which their computers are not compatible.
I am firmly convinced that is why Phillip was not accepted at Johns Hopkins. Their loss.
Mmm...your brain sounds kind of tasty. :P
I have to second the "Everyone Poops" recommendation...we got it as a family Christmas present one year from my uncle (well after everyone had been potty-trained), and opening it totally saved our Christmas...mostly because we kids were acting spoiled and rotten and had been sent to our rooms with the threat of the end of Christmas as we knew it, only to, after a half hour or so of frightened, repentent whimpering were allowed back into the livingroom where it was decided we would open a present together. And that was the present we opened. And of course we read it right then. And of course it totally saved Christmas.
Hooray for educational literature!
Lindsay, that SO should be a book: "How 'Everyone Poops' Saved Christmas." I can just see it on the best-seller list. :^D
And Kim, I totally agree-the Johns Hopkins committee will be kicking themselves ever after. Poor souls.
And Becca, I'll be sure to save some for you out of all the junk that's been leaking out my ears... Ew. :^P :^) Heehee!
(Sorry--did that last Heehee sound too crazed?)
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