Yes.
I mean, that's what it feels like. It feels like a 'yes.' I've asked, and re-asked and then asked again just to be sure, and, while I'm not 100% positive a move to MA is imminent, still, the percentage is hovering in the high 90s.
I haven't told my parents yet, and I'm actually really nervous to talk to them about this. I'm not sure how they'll react and whether they'll trust my judgement or intuition or ability to interpret direction from the Spirit. I hope they will, but they may focus more on practical things like "How?" and "Why?" and "What the heck?!?"
I think I'm going to do some more research on this, and make a really viable plan. I will: plan out the trip that would take me & my stuff out there, find out how much this is likely to cost, and see if I can cover it using my savings (yeah--I'm pretty sure I'll be okay); find out what job options might be available in MA and how much they might pay and whether I'd be able to support myself out there using my, well, useless English degree; and I will look up apartment listings out there to, again, see if I can live somewhere under my own power or whether I should seek roomies.
I'm feeling kind of urgent about this. I tried to go to sleep last night after wrestling with the question and feeling a pretty strong (and fairly urgent) 'yes,' and I couldn't seem to drift off. I kept thinking about what I would do & when this was going to happen and just how gosh darned scared I'm feeling about the whole thing, and how in spite of that I really feel like I need to get out there soon.
It's weird. I don't know why I need to be there. Maybe it's just that kick out of the nest that I've needed for approximately the last two years. Maybe I'm supposed to help people out in MA. Maybe other people are supposed to help me. Maybe that's where I'll live for the rest of my life. Maybe I'll live out there for 6 months and come weeping home, trailing a cloud of debt and despair behind me (although I hope not). Or maybe it's just a multitude of reasons. Heck--it's LIFE for crying out loud! It's complicated!
But whatever the reasons, I'm beginning to realize that the answer is pretty clear.
And it's 'Yes.'
6 comments:
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Beth.... *cries*
Sure sounds like a yes to me. :) I hope that things start falling into place for you. If it's a real yes, though, I imagine that they will be. :)
Beautiful.
Better learn to like clam chowder, Bethy. Sounds like Father in Heaven has plans for you.
Not to try and steal your thunder, but we're getting all the same "yes" answers about Chicago. And it is scary but also exciting. I'll let y'all know when we have an offer on the table and things are more definite.
YAY, BETH!! How exciting! It's always fun (and yes, a little scary) to go somewhere new, and MA seems like a place that would fit you. Plus, it's sure a comfort to have the Lord's input on big decisions; when you stick with Him, things tend to work out.
If you're thinking of getting roomies, it might help to contact a singles ward out there and see if anyone in the ward has a spot open. Good luck, and keep us posted (uh . . . no pun intended).
Urg...okay--so there have been updates, I just haven't posted here. Sorry! *Hides head in shame*
I'll try to post tonight or tomorrowish!
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