So I was sitting at work yesterday, just kind of browsing around our website looking for errors in item descriptions or images (orders have been kinda slow lately) and I had the oddest thought.
I thought to myself, "Why don't I just move to Boston and work there, and maybe I'll get into that one school and maybe I won't, but at least I'll BE there."
So then I started thinking about this little proposition from my brain and I thought..."Wow! Maybe that could work!" And then I thought, "Nah--it's too crazy." And then I thought, "Yeah--crazy enough to work!" And then I thought, "Whoa! What a cliche!"
But actually, I kind of felt good about it then. Strangely. I don't know though--I'm not sure I've felt good about it since. So, I guess I'll be thinking about this some more. But who knows--maybe a change of location is closer than I thought! Or maybe not...
I guess I just want to get going, and I kind of feel like waiting another year (if I get accepted to the school I like it'll be next summer before I start) would just be too long, and that I need to get out there SOON. Like, this fall.
Very VERY odd feeling. And disturbing. For it would mean packing (which I hate) and driving (which I actually like) in my car (which is a little oldish) a long, long ways. And before that, I'd need to ask my aunt & uncle if I could (pleasepleaseplease) crash at their place for a few weeks while I sort myself out & find a job and then find an apartment with (pleasepleaseplease) other really nice girls who won't make fun of my new tshirts.
There would be other downsides as well: I would miss my brother's homecoming, which would mean I wouldn't see him until probably a good MANY moons after he returns to the states. I would also miss the ever ongoing growing-up years of my admittedly adorable nieces & nephews.
Good: I would be closer to all of you in the east.
Bad: I would be farther from all of you in the west.
Good: I would be in Massachusetts! (I mean, that in itself is just wicked cool.)
Bad: I would have to pay rent! (And THAT is wicked awful.)
Long and short (but mostly long) I just have no idea. It may just be one of those odd thoughts that pop in the head and then fizzle slowly out the ears without making any real indentation inside, or...I could be moving.
Arg! But WHO KNOWS?!?
5 comments:
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*Sniff* I'm just too stunned to comment. Beth might be moving away--*sob*. It does sound like a wonderful adventure, though. Good luck as you decide. I know it's sometimes hard to get a clear reading on what you should do when you're thinking about something that kind of scares you.
I was talking with Megan this morning, and she is in the middle of experiencing the consequences of just such a decision as you are contemplating. She's in Ft Worth, waiting for law schaool to begin...and she sounds like life is in some grayish area between good and superb, with shadows of trepidation as she contemplates sinking into law books and not surfacing for three years.
Take an honest look at your fears, and decide how many of them are warnings that encourage further planning. Some of them may be significant obstacles that shouldn't be brushed away but must be confronted. Remember though that courage consists of acknowledging fear and doing what is right anyhow. And I know it isn't my place to receive revelation for you, but I will tell you that it felt good...like a good place for my dear friend to be...when I was reading about your possible choice.
Morgan just came in saying "Mommy...mommy done." Guess that's it.
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Morgan sends you lots of hugs and afew other random things.
Oh, guys. I wish everything had been cleared up over the past few days, but I'm still uncertain. I think I'm getting lulled into just letting everything pass me by. Still. (I think watching TV does that to a body...) I need impetus.
Oh, and Cathy--the odd thing is, I've felt this way about the Boston area before. Once, a couple of years ago, I went to visit my aunt & uncle out there and as we were driving from the airport to their home, I felt a "Yeah--this is the place for me" type of feeling. I felt like I could live there completely comfortably, but it was more than that--it was almost a spiritual sense of recognition. And I haven't forgotten that. I think I'll end up there eventually (I hope)--I just don't know when.
Oh, and Hi, Morgan! I'm so glad you posted on my blog! :^D (Dude--Cathy--seriously--get him enrolled in one of those prodigy schools--the kid's amazing.
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