My very own (highly unconscious) writing guidelines:

Firstly, I must confess two things, neither of which will be delinated as writing guidelines per se, but may be interpreted as such by those who wish to amuse themselves by supposing that a thing done is a thing intended to be done by the doer of it, neglecting to realize that such a thing as intent rarely exists in this writer's bosom.

And also I have been reading too much Jane Austen.

But in any case, my explanations and apologies are these: first, that I do not always consider myself a writer of the highest caliber and thus felt some considerable surprise (though pleasurable) at being recommended by Lindsay as one who writes well. My gratitude thus being mingled with some degree of distress, I have, second, procrastinated the production of my response to no small degree. I must, therefore, have some sincere cause of mortification if any person seeking authorly wisdom has thus fled to my blog in glad expectation, thereafter being sadly repulsed by perusal of such uninteresting topics as jackhammers in the early hours of the morning.

However, meaning to rectify my faults and demonstrate a willingness to oblige all who might wish to know them, I therefore will now outline the rules by which I write:

First: The key, I think, is to write. This is perhaps my greatest fault as a writer, in that I am too often not a writer. Or rather, that I think of myself as one who enjoys writing and who would write if only she could find the time, and am then forced to acknowledge my own negligence when I realize that as soon as I get a little time I spend it on reading, or on viewing the amusing capers of caption-strewn cats. Indeed, one cannot be considered a writer unless she writes, therefore all other recommendations and guidelines must be encompassed in this very simple one: If you want to be a writer, then write. Nothing else will do. Nothing.

Second: Be real. And for this I have to drop the wicked awful Jane Austen impression. (My most sincere and humble apologies to Miss Jane for tainting her most exquisite style with my sad imitation.) When I write a blog post, or am working on a work of fiction, I want the emotion to be as near reality as possible. Readers know when things are insincere. You yourself know when a character is being unrealistic or when his or her emotions are out of alignment with the events going on. They seem ridiculous, right? So keep it real. Don't force emotion on your characters. First, feel what they're feeling, and then write what you feel from the heart. Deal with pain and deal with happiness. In short, deal with all the wonderful, convoluted, tortuous maze of the human heart. Your readers will connect to what you write; they've got a heart themselves, you know.

Third: In keeping with my first principle, I've got to say that while writing is absolutely critical to being a writer, reading is nearly as much so. Don't neglect your writing to read, but be sure to take time to read anyway. Reading helps you to get a sense of the writing styles you enjoy, and it helps you to understand how a story flows and can be put together. More importantly, read critically. Read as a writer, not just a reader. Read and ask yourself why the author included that detail, why she made that plot decision, why he had a character say that instead of something else. And then maybe you'll start to ask yourself, "Okay. How would I have written this?"

So.

There are my rules, as little as I stick by them.

And, as much as I hate to break the chain, I really, really, really can't pick my favorite blogging authors simply because I have too many of them. In short, if you're on that list on my sidebar, you're a favorite. And some of you not on the sidebar are favorites too. So don't fret. (Good grief, people.) So...

No. I just can't. I just, just just can't.

But those of you who, secretly, are acknowledging that in your very darkest, most supressed, heart of hearts, you know that I would have picked your blog as one of the top three, well.

Yeah. You're pretty much right.

Now.

GET WRITING!