It's 2008.
And, like every year, we get together as a family and drink sparkling cider and watch about the last 60 seconds or so of the countdown to the new year and then we all shout, "Happy New Year!" and then my parents go to bed while the rest of us play video games for another few hours. (And blog.)
And I don't know why, but every time that final countdown rolls around and we spring over into the new year, I always expect to feel just a little bit different, and always inevitably feel pretty much the same as I felt at 11:55. Or 8:42. It's like waking up on your birthday morning, knowing you've just put a +1 onto your age, and finding yourself astonished to still be indisputably you, only older by the night of sleep you just had.
I wonder why I keep thinking I should feel different, why I keep expecting these tiny moments to seem significant. My experience over the past (nearly) thirty years has made me realize time and again that moments, while you're in them, rarely feel significant at all. It's usually only in looking forward to moments or looking back on them that things seem to gain weight.
I'm not sure why that is. Is it wishful thinking that makes us think moments ahead will feel important? Is it hindsight that allows us to perceive our pasts as significant? And why do we not feel it at all in the present?
I don't know any of it. And my Boston clock says it's 4:41am, and my Utah clock says it's 2:41am, and my biological clock simply says it's DARN late/early/aTimeIShouldBeInBed, so I probably won't meander any longer tonight. Er, this morning.
But...well... Happy New Year anyway.
And happy 400th post, while I'm at it.
5 comments:
Blake and I were just talking about this. It's true...we don't feel any different. He didn't feel any different two days ago when it was his birthday, and neither of us feels any different now that it's 2008. And why do we celebrate the new year anyway? Anyway, nice post.
Also, Happy New Year to you! And Happy 400th post!
Yeah, I never feel any different come the new year. . .except tired. The only time I feel different is after have a lovely meal or finishing a darn good book.
speaking of book. . . .*grabs Mistborn*
While I agree that January 1 doesn't feel any different from, say, April 23 or November 5, the beginning of a new calender year is a nice excuse to evaluate my life and set a few goals.
And I agree with JGS - a good meal or book feels much better than a late night party any day.
Of all the moments of my life that I thought should feel significant but didn't, walking across the stage at graduation has to be tops.
I was just reading another friend's blog, and this is what she had to say about the new year "i'm blessed because i'm ending the year with every member of my family still here. and i'm also ending it with the same ol' Husband i started the year with.
a new year is always looked at as a new beginning. a chance to start again and to make resolutions. but the cool thing is, every day we are allowed to live is a chance for a new beginning.
that is the coolest thing of all. no need to wait until December 31st to make changes. changes can begin right now. no waiting till midnight. no waiting period."
...kind of gives you a new perspective - where it would be nice if we could be magically transformed into a perfect creature, for us change is more like a drip in a cave, slowly shaping us into interesting formations!...for me, right now, I'm going to be glad for the things that haven't changed.
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