So, I went to the doctor today. He was nice, asked me questions which I tried hard to answer correctly and without lying, (lying being a very, very stupid thing to do with doctors), but even so, I'm still not sure what's wrong with me.
My doctor told me it was likely one of two things: I could have a gastric ulcer. Woohoo! I seriously have always been intrigued by gastric ulcers, ever since I found out they were primarily caused by a bacteria. And, like, NOT stress. Usually. I mean, I don't want you all to think that I'm completely stressed out, so I've got an ulcer. I mean, it's totally not true. No. I probably have one of those bacteria-caused ulcers. Or, I might not even have an ulcer at all. Come on, people. I could have......
Gallstones. Woohoo! I seriously (no, really) have always been intrigued by gallstones, ever since my mom had to have her gallbladder removed and was in serious and excruciating pain for about a month because for some reason they couldn't schedule her surgery any earlier than that. Yes. So, I too could face serious and excruciating pain. That is, if I have gallstones, and if they're serious enough to require surgery. Which would, truth be told, enable me to take a week or two off work, and spend a whole lot of time watching cheesy daytime television. But, as appealing as surgery sounds, I think I may even be hoping for a third option, a third cause of that really, really not-so-happy pain that has been plaguing me recently.
Yes. I am hoping that it's caused by, you guessed it, really, really old tshirts.
Although, I suppose you could claim that my tshirts aren't quite old enough for this rare malady (they being only about five years of age) and most physicians will tell you that the tshirts in question need to be at least eight years or older (said physicians being misled by a faulty study back in '89).
But even still, were it up to me, I would pick the tshirt option, the third door as it were. I mean, not only could I solve my abdominal problem by simply changing my clothing, I would have to buy NEW tshirts in order to really solve the problem, because really, you can't live without tshirts in the summer. Oh, I could buy a brown one, and a dark green one...maybe even a red one.
Or, maybe I will have that ultrasound tomorrow. Just to be on the safe side.
4 comments:
Holy Smoke Dogs!!! I wondered what the heck was going on there...since no one had posted to this site in like...forever. (Yes I do check this site...ALOT. I get bored easilly. But I hoped it was because you were on a cruise somewhere with a handsome Tahitian...not an ulcer. I'm sorry for you Bethy. Door #3 really is the best option. You'd be great on a game show. I'll be thinking about you!
Maybe the handsome Tahitian will be behind door number three. I'll be standing there, fingering the tshirt selection, and he'll walk up and ask where he can find the dish soap. And I'll have no idea, because hey--I'm NOT an employee, buster. And then, he'll be all sad and embarrassed, and I'll have pity on him, and he'll ask me out, and we'll live happily ever after and drink Noni for the rest of our lives. Although honestly, I'd probably be happier with apple juice. :^)
Thanks, Pam. I'm just hoping they'll be able to tell what's wrong! *Looks at clock* Yikes! Only an hour to go before "The Procedure..." *Pulls nervous face* Wish me luck! :^)
Hey, don't knock Noni. It seriously helped me with some cold symptoms once. I will concede that it tastes kinda weird, though.
Hey! So it works! Crazy...I never would've thought it.
Haha, just kidding, Kim. The fact is, I've never tasted Tahitian Noni, but I have tasted apple juice, and I knows I likes it. So, I may just stick with what I know. :^)
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